Being Mournful (Matthew 5:4)

Photo by Ryan Parker on Unsplash

His first teaching a profound lesson on the value of humility, Jesus goes on to make   another seemingly contradictory promise; “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  The words He chooses – makarios for blessed, pentheō for mourn, parakaleō for comforted – these mean exactly what the english translation says. Jesus is again using plain words to convey deep truth.

We mourn when we loose that which we value. Most obviously, that means people. The depth of mourning is directly tied to the depth of love one had for that which is now lost. Everyone who’s ever lost a friend or family member or even a beloved pet know this. But grief is not restricted to losing one you love. One might mourn having to leave a special place (like the home you grew up in), or a treasured role (like the job you thought you’d keep forever). Knowing such things, and knowing that Jesus’ intended meaning is spiritual in nature, one has to ask what one looses, spiritually speaking. 

We know that to step into the Kingdom of God is to give up everything, even though we had nothing, for we were dead in their trespasses and sins (Eph 2:1). Yet we give up our sin to Him, and in exchange we get Jesus, and He fills us with joy. But even the most preliminary walk with Jesus will soon reveal that you do have more to lose. The Spirit of God does His work in convicting of sin and righteousness and judgment, and we soon recognize that there are parts of our lives – some hidden and some obvious – that we need to divest ourselves of. 

We can do so freely and willingly (Job 13:23) or we can do so after a long wrestling with God (Gen 32:24, Job 42:5-6). But in both cases we must give up our very character, and that is difficult to do. It is done with mourning. Perhaps initially mourning only for having made poor choices for ourselves. But as one journeys with God, we mourn much deeper for having offended God, blinded others to His presence, peace and power, and for having stolen from His glory. 

That’s on one level. On another, God nudges us to truly recognize our brokenness. Giving up that is not so easy. Broken people actually define themselves by their brokenness. Here we find our just how hard it is to forgive those who have so offended us they have distorted our soul and caused us to loose a particular joy. Here we mourn for what can never be regained. 

It is hard to truly forgive the childhood bully who scarred you forever. The person who took what you had without asking. The abusive parent. The adulterous spouse. The rapist. The one who maimed you or your family in their drunkenness or desperation. Perhaps because of their own brokenness. Perhaps entirely by deliberate choice. Either way it is hard to forgive, and one mourns deeply. First for what was lost, then for the time spent without, then for the damage done, and perhaps after that, one might even dare to mourn for others hurt through your experience. The friends and family and well-meaning strangers who endured the roughness of your own personal brokenness that resulted from it. But God is ever faithful, and the comforter does come. The decision is made, the tears are spilt out in prayer, and the Spirit of God warms the soul. 

This is truth; there are levels of intimacy with God that cannot be reached without mourning. God is infinitely deep, and deeply emotional. To journey with Him to those depths is not a short experience or a painless one. Giving our pain and hurt over to Him is not an easy thing to do. But when you rise from those depths, you find in place of the soul-crushing open wound you had, you have a beautiful scar instead. Something that – when you occasionally notice it – recalls the sweet memory of His consolation instead of the pain and fear that used to consume you.  Best of all, you can reflect Him better, until that day He makes us all anew physically, and even the scars are gone. Amen.

Grief is like a knotted ball of yarn. It is not something that can be cut through with scissors but must rather be painstakingly unknotted.

Adam Stadtmiller

APPLICATION: Intentionality

There is no shame in grieving. But grieve loss the way you grieve sin. Prayerfully give your pain over to Jesus, asking Him to give you more of Himself in its place.

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